Finding an Angel in Hell
by RodayGorham44
Summary: Reagan's life is turning into hell, more now since her family moved. Edward's life is also more of a hell then before because of Bella's death. When the Cullen's move to Reagan's town, what will happen when the two tortured souls meet?
1. Can't hold back now

**Hello All,**

**First Twilight story here. Please be nice. I know it's a little mary sue-ish because Reagan is based off of me. Alot of wha she says are things I've said or had happen to me. Including Carson's story coming up. My parents are NOT the people in this story, they would never do these things. And my siblings are quite obnxious so yeah. lol**

**Enjoy. Reviews are MUCH appreciated**

**May 30th: Early morning**

It was late. Late as in 2 in the morning late. As usual, I was up way later then I should be. My sister still wasn't home from the bar, and my parents were sleeping just a few short feet away. Their snoring passing easily through the walls into my room.

"I really need to get a life" I thought to myself. All I did was stay up on the computer, watching YouTube videos, or reading up on celebrity gossip. "Yeah I really need a life" I thought again.

A 19 year old should be out having fun at night during the summer. Right? Right. Instead I was sitting alone in my room. I heard a light thud drift up from downstairs, signaling that Katy had finally come home from a night of drunken fun at the bar with her friend. I could hear them whispering and giggling as they walked up the stairs and into the room next to my parents.

I turned my music down slightly and laughed to myself. If only her new boyfriend knew what they were up to. Then again, knowing Geoff as much as I did, which wasn't that much, he most likely did know. I scowled a little. The thought that my already divorced 29 year old sister had a boyfriend and I didn't made me angry.

I scowled again as this brought up the memory of Carson. I tried really hard these days not to think about him or what he had done. The absolute perfect person for me had turned out to be the worst thing that ever happened to me. I pushed even harder to get him out of my mind.

I sighed and turned back to my laptop, hitting 'pause' to stop the lull of the beautiful voice singing to me, and putting the laptop in a state of hibernation. I gently pushed it to the side of my bed up against the wall. I groped around in the dark for something to cover the two little blue lights on the front of the laptop, and my hand found fabric that wasn't the sheets.

I knew what it was instantly. Carson's shirt. I flinched as I picked it up and slowly draped it over the computer. Sighing again, I finally laid down, facing away from the computer in hopes to try and dispel the sudden surge of emotions coursing through me. I stared at the little yellow light coming off of my DVD player and listened to the crickets outside. Try as I might, I couldn't hold back this time. For the first time in the three weeks that had passed since the incident, I cried. I let the tears run silently down my face and scolded myself.

"Get a grip Reagan…he wasn't all that great to begin with" said the smarter half of my mind. I knew it was right, but I just couldn't help hoping that I was wrong. I continued to cry until I drifted into unconsciousness.


	2. New Neighbors and Fighting Parents

**So yeah, I made the Cullen's personable in this. Like how they were in Eclipse :)**

******Chapter 2**

**May 30th 7:30am**

It was early. Early as in 7:30. Too early considering that I didn't fall asleep until around 4. Again I had been woken up by the sudden urge to pee really badly. I groaned and hurried down the hall to the bathroom. I walked back out and came to the conclusion that I wasn't going to be able to fall back asleep. But I was so tired. I walked downstairs and to the front door. I'd sit outside for a little.

I carefully shut the door behind me and sat on the front step. It was cloudy but already at least 80 degrees out. Living down the shore totally had its perks. I hated to be cold. The small town was peaceful. I looked across the street at the huge house for sale, secretly wishing my family had enough money to live in a house like that. Oh well… I really did like this new one. There was now a big red "SOLD" sign across the "For Sale" one. That hadn't been there the last time I looked. I saw movement then. Someone was walking out of the house.

It was a girl. She had really short and spiky black hair, and she moved across the lawn so quickly I almost didn't see her make it from the door to the sidewalk. She took a quick look around the surrounding area and noticed me at that moment. She gave me a small wave and rushed quickly, but not as fast as before, back into the house.

The way she ran was entirely too graceful. Almost like she was dancing. I stared back in an awed silence, my mouth hanging open a little bit. She had moved **incredibly **fast. Even from a distanced I noticed that her skin was pale, and thought to myself that living down here would do her some good.

She came back out then, but this time followed by a few other people. Three boys and another girl. She moved slower this time, and they began to walk towards my house…and me. I was staggered by how they were dressed in long pants and shirts in this god awful heat. I was frozen to my front step though; I couldn't move to rush back inside. Suddenly they were all there in front of me, the black haired girl leading.

I struggled to regain focused again. They were all devastatingly gorgeous, especially the other girl. A tall, skinny blonde. I looked down at myself, then back at her. She made me more self conscious then I already was and she didn't even speak yet. They were all extremely pale, and had dark purple shadows under their eyes, which all happened to be the same shade of what appeared to be gold.

"Alice Cullen" said the black haired girl. Her voice was slightly high pitched but it was beautiful, just like her. I shook my head and brought myself back to the present. She smiled at me.

"These are my siblings. Emmett," She gestured to the tallest one of the group, which made me lean back slightly. He was huge. Built like a football player, with dark brown, slightly curly hair. I noticed his arm wrapped around the blonde girl's waist. He was very intimidating, someone you deffinatly wanted to stay on the good side of.

"And Edward." Alice said, now pointing to the boy standing a little behind Emmett. He was tall and lanky, with bronze colored hair, and absolutely gorgeous. He kept his eyes away from me, and he looked almost ridged. I could tell he didn't want to be here at all. But what I could see from his eyes were that they were not gold like the rest of them… they were black.

"And these are Jasper and Rosalie Hale. They're twins. Jasper is my boyfriend and Rosalie is with Emmett." Alice said, now pointing to the blonde girl, and a blonde boy standing next to her. I saw Jasper take her hand gently in his.

"Actually, we are all adopted. Dr. Cullen and his wife adopted us when we were younger."

They were all just so beautiful, it was hard to concentrate on her as she spoke. I kept glancing over at the one named Edward, but he still avoided my gaze.

"What's your name?' Alice asked me when I didn't respond or answer to anything she had just told me. I blinked and looked back at her.

"Reagan. Reagan Matthews." I said quietly. Alice reached out her hand to me, and I slowly placed mine in hers. It was freezing.

"Nice to meet you." She said with a smile and shook our hands. I smiled timidly back. Jasper then reached his hand out and did the same.

"Hi" he said also with a smile. Next was Emmett and his hand shake hurt me a little. He was absolutely as strong as he looked. But his smile made me smile even bigger. He was just a big teddy bear; I knew I was going to like him.

Rosalie was a little hesitant, then finally shook my hand, but didn't smile. I reached out to Edward, but he still never looked at me. He then turned his to face the street, his back towards me. I slowly dropped my arm at his rejection and turned back to Alice. She was glaring at Edward now.

"Aren't you guys a little hot in those clothes? It has to be at least 80 or higher." I asked, and then I remembered how cold each one of their hands were, and almost took the question back.

"Nah. The heat doesn't really bother us. We're tough." Said Emmett, sticking out his chest and thumping it lightly with his free hand. I had to smile again. I then heard my mom start yelling at my dad, and cringed. Alice looked at the house and then back to me.

'I'd better go. I was nice to meet all of you. You're all free to stop by whenever you like." I said, standing up and walking to the door.

"Thank you." Alice said, giving me a small smile, as I opened the door, then stepped inside.

"YOU ARE SUCH AN ASS BEN!!" my mother screamed. I closed my eyes and sighed.

"GOD CAROLYN! CAN"T YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE!?"

I couldn't believe that they were doing this while we had company. I fought back more sudden bursts of emotion. If they saw me crying, it would create more problems, like it always did. They would just yell more about whose fault it was that I was crying. Something gently touched my hand, and my eyes shot open. I realized I wasn't alone and glanced over to my right.

"Alice? Jasper?" I asked a little stunned. How did they get in? I was sure that they hadn't followed me in.

"We thought you could use a little company right now." She said, looking around me into the kitchen at my fighting parents. I just stared in awe at her. I suddenly felt calm; the urge to cry was gone. It was replaced by a sense of ease and happiness… an emotion long since forgotten to my body. I felt a smile slowly spread across my face and saw Alice shoot a quick look at Jasper. He had already walked to the entrance of the kitchen.

"Jasper?" I whispered, but he paid me no attention.

"What are you doing?" I said. The sound of my parents' bitter bickering quieted a little, and soon was down to a small argument. Next thing I knew, it was quiet. Jasper smiled and walked back to me and Alice. My parents came out of the kitchen smiling and laughing. What just happened?

"Oh, Reagan you're up." Said my mom.

"And who's this?" she asked looking at the others.

"Oh, um. Mom, Dad, This is Alice and Jasper. They moved into that house across the street, with the rest of their family. I was outside this morning and they saw me and came over to say hello and stuff."

"Well it's nice to meet you two. How old are you guys?" my mom asked, turning her full attention on Alice.

"Well I'm 18, and Jasper is 19. The rest of my siblings range from 17 to 20" Alice said with a smile. I saw that my dad was a little staggered by her.

"Oh that's good. Kids your own age Reagan. That'll be good for you." My mom said.

"We are gonna go get dressed and go out for the day. Why don't you spend time with them? Show them around the neighborhood and such?" my dad said.

"That sounds great" Alice said before I could respond. My parents smiled and walked up the stairs to their room. I knew I wouldn't have much time. They wouldn't be out all day. Something would start a fight and they would come home. A few minutes later my parents left and Alice turned to me.

"I'm sorry Reagan, but we actually have to leave. Need to finish unpacking and what not."

"Yeah I know that feeling. We've only been here a few weeks, and we are still unpacking. It's ok. No offense or anything but I'd rather be alone right now anyway." I said. More waves of calm rolled over me, and I wondered why that kept happening. Alice gazed at me for a long moment, her mouth slowly turning up into a small smile. She then leaned up and kissed me on the cheek.

"We'll be across the street if you need company." And with that, they both disappeared out the door. I reached up to touch the place on my cheek where her lips had touched it. Cold, just as a thought it would be. The calm was suddenly gone. I was alone, as always. And I preferred it that way.


	3. Confessions of Broken Hearts

**Chapter 3**

I was right. My parents lasted maybe three hours out together before they came home yelling. My sister had left again with her friend so I was left to sit in my room and listen to the constant bickering. God why couldn't I drive again? I really needed to get on that.

When I finally couldn't take both hearing them and staring at Carson's shirt, I slipped my flip flops on and snuck out the front door. There was a playground about two blocks from my house. I'd go there. It was about 7 o'clock at night now, the sun was almost set, for it was still only late May. When I got to the park, I noticed someone else was there, sitting on my favorite swing.

I slowly got closer and noticed that it was Edward. His head shot up at the sound of my footsteps. His eyes met mine for a brief second and he looked almost angry. He got up quickly.

"No, you don't have to leave. I'll just go." I said very quickly. I pulled my gaze from him and turned around to walk home, even though I would have rather jumped in front of the next car that went by then go back now.

"I'll go. You stay" Was all he said and began to walk off, gliding past me gracefully.

"Wait, Edward." I said, raising my head back up to look at him. He had stopped but hadn't turned back around. Why was he the only one from his family acting this way towards me? We hadn't even known each other for a day yet. How could he hate me so?

"Yes?" he asked when I didn't respond. Even though he sounded slightly agitated, his voice was smooth and comforting.

"Why does either of us have to leave? There's more than enough space here to make it feel like we're alone." I asked. He simply shrugged.

**EPOV**

This child seemed generally concerned for me. Her thoughts even said it. She was pushing all of what seemed like pain away from her mind to concentrate on me. I turned around at last to face her. She was a short little thing, not more than 5 feet. Dark brown hair and a slight red tint around her face from the sun. Her scent had drifted to me when I passed her, and I knew this would be difficult. She smelled delicious. I wasn't sure what my face said, but she had a scared look on hers. Not scared that at any point I could kill her, which of course she didn't know. But scared that she might have made me angry by asking a simple question.

Now I felt guilty. I was such a horrid creature. I was doing the same thing I did to Bel-  
No. I couldn't think of her now. Although I was doing the exact same thing I did to her as I was doing to this girl. Running away from conversation. I walked over to her now, and stood in front of her, hands in my pockets. Her expression changed again, she wasn't scared anymore.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to act rude. We can both stay." I brushed past her gently and sat on a swing. Her scent floated my way again, and I had to hold my breath. She had a very similar scent to that of _hers._ But I knew I was strong enough to resist, even if I was extremely thirsty. She sat down next to me and pushed herself into a slow swinging motion. Her mind seemed completely blank and this brought back more memories of… _her_. But then I heard something.  
_I wonder why he changed his mind._

"I thought I'd give you a chance. " I said without thinking. I then mentally smacked my face.

"What did you say?" She said looking over at me. I met her gaze again, looking deep into her brown eyes. It seemed like I could tell her everything. But I knew I couldn't.

"Nothing. So…um" I stumbled, searching desperately for a question.

"What brings you here?" I hedged.

"Well… I don't know if you heard the yelling this morning, but in case you didn't-"Of course I heard the yelling. It was awful. My ears picked it up way before hers, and I heard their thoughts as well.

"My parents have been fighting literally everyday for the past two months. Today… it just got to be too much… I had to get out of that house." She looked down at the ground, almost ashamed that she had to "runaway" so to speak. I was a little stunned. I was thinking that maybe she was just bored and came here.

"And if that isn't enough… I've been talking to this guy for about the same length of time, but we've never met. Long story short, we basically fell in love with each other. It was the first time since I finally gave up on my one friend that I'd been in actual love with someone. Then again, Tyler was gay… and that's a completely different story. Well… C-Carson…" I could see the internal struggle to say his name. More memories sprang up, and I pushed them away.

"Completely changed about 3 weeks ago. We got into constant arguments, and he was just being flat out mean. He even slept with someone. And I mean, I understand that we were never really together, but still you know? Then mysteriously… he died. Well at least that's what I thought. Come to find out that he faked his own death just to get away from me."

I stared, completely stunned now, by her rant, and she looked up at me.

"Oh geez… I'm sorry Edward… I didn't mean to just keep going like that…" She stumbled, looking completely embarrassed.

_Stupid, Stupid… Learn to shut up Reagan, really. Like he cares. _Her head shouted.

"I'm…sorry to hear that Reagan. People… can be so heartless sometimes." I should know. I have one...it just hasn't beat in about 95 years. I reached over and placed my hand on her shoulder. I felt her tense for a second, then relax and look over at me. The corner of her mouth pulled up into a small smile. I could hear her heart rate quicken as our eyes met again. Sometimes I really hated having that effect on people, but right now, I was hoping my looks were helping to keep her mind off of all the pain she was going through.

Her mind was still cleared of everything, even through her story. Not one single thought spoke out until her sudden mental berating that she had talked too much.

"I'm also sorry for being rude to you earlier this morning. If I had known you were already going through so much, I would have shaken your hand. But...I've been going through some things too."

_Oh damnit. Now I made him feel like he has to tell his life story. Fuck my inability to think before I go on a rant._

"Reagan. Stop doing that." I said with a smile. She raised her eyebrows in confusion. Shit, I did it again. Come on Edward; learn to hold your tongue.

"You keep looking like you're beating yourself up. I don't mind listening to you talk. Like I said earlier, I'm sorry for being a jerk." She smiled again, and she didn't have a thought this time. I sighed.

"My…girlfriend," I couldn't say fiancé. "Just recently passed away as well. For real though. Actually… it was 2 years ago, but it feels like yesterday. She had this really old truck that she absolutely loved. Turns out that it was pretty much a death trap in an accident. If only I'd been with her."

**RPOV**

He dropped his head in his hands. I could see the effort it took him just to talk about it. They way he hesitated before saying "girlfriend" made me think she was something more. I could only imagine the pain he was feeling. He was trying to hold back. I got up out of my swing and sat in front o him, slowly prying his snow cold hands away from his face. His arms felt as hard as stone, and it took almost all of my strength to take his hands away from his face.

"Edward." I whispered. He looked at me with agonized eyes. I was right this morning. His eyes were black. How strange.

"It took me three weeks to finally break down about Carson. I know that it's the stereotypical thing for men not to cry, but look at you. You can't keep all that emotion locked up. You'll go crazy."

"I can't." was all he said. I stared at him, gently stroking his hands with my fingers. The cool of his skin felt strangely comforting, just as his voice had, even though he had been angry.

"Yes you can. Just let go and cry."

"You don't understand. I physically can't." I felt my forehead crease in confusion. How can someone physically not be able to cry? Fine, if he didn't want to then he didn't have to.

"What was her name?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Bella." He whispered.

* * *

**OK so yeah I know... dumb way to kill off Bella. Im not that clever and I just figured that something could deffinatly happen with that old truck of hers. And yes. What happened to Reagan, happened to me. Yes girls, men are very capable of the stupidest and most hurtful things ever. Be careful.**


	4. Something is Different About You

**Chapter 4**

I couldn't get much more out of him, and I didn't try. He seemed too hurt. I sighed and stood up.

"I'm here if you need me Edward. But right now, I think I should head back. My parents don't know I left."

"I understand. Thank you for listening." He stood up.

"No… thank you." I said, truly meaning it. It was nice to have someone to listen.

"Why don't I walk with you?" He asked with a smile. It didn't reach his eyes though.

"I'd like that." We walked in silence for the entire two blocks. It was a comfortable silence. Once we reached my house he turned and faced me again. He smiled crookedly and I felt my heart do a little jump. He really was gorgeous.

"Let's start over." He said holding his hand out in front of him. "I'm Edward Cullen. It's nice to meet you."

I shook his hand and smiled. "Reagan Matthews, and same to you, neighbor." He chuckled slightly and then turned to leave. It was then, as our hands let go of one another, that the setting sun hit his skin for the briefest of seconds. I could have sworn that his skin actually _sparkled_. I thought that maybe he was wearing a watch or something, but there was nothing there. He **had** sparkled. How strange.

I saw that his smiled was gone, and his face was expressionless. Did he notice that I noticed? I just smiled up at him, pretending that I didn't see anything.

"I'll see you around then." I said, and walked up the front steps and through the door. I by passed my dad on the couch, and ran up to my room. I sat on my bed and thought for a few seconds. Ok, had he really sparkled like a diamond in the sun? Why was he so unnaturally cold? Ok so that's not that big of a deal. I'm always cold. But… the whole lot of them was that way.

And why his eyes were pitch black… so unlike the rest of his family…and he seemed to know what I was thinking. I swear he answered what I was thinking twice…and he was so pale. Ok, again something that isn't that important. There are a lot of pale people out there. But still… they were all that way.

I knew one person who would help give me some insight on this. I grabbed my cell phone and dialed the number. Three rings later they answered.

"Oh Reagan! Just the person I was thinking of! I just saw Harry Potter's wand... and by wand I mean penis!"

That was Abby Loring for you. Full of crazy information. But always making me laugh when I needed it. I laughed a little.

"Really now? Was it everything that we hoped it would be?" I heard her sigh into the phone dramatically.  
"Sadly Rea…. No"  
"Oh damnit. I was gonna marry him someday too."  
"IT WAS WAY MORE THAN WE HOPED FOR!" She shouted "And back off sister, he's mine." I laughed again.  
"So what's up?" she asked

Abby was like an expert on all things mythical and legendary and everything else you could think of. I went on to tell her about my new neighbors, and then Edward.

"I swear Abbs, he _sparkled._ It looked like he had a diamond bracelet on. And his eyes,they were black. Like midnight black."

"Rae, darling, I think he's a vampire." She stated simply.  
"What? Abby, he was out in daylight. He can't be."

"Not all of the stories we've been told are true. Actually most of them are false. But let him tell you that in his own time. He seems to like you."

"Abby, you can't be serious. There's no such thing as vampires." I said. It was impossible.  
"Then why did you call me Reagan? You obviously thought he was something." I could hear the smile in her voice. She caught me.

"Ugh ok fine." I laughed a little. "There's something strange about them that's all. I don't mind. As long as they don't kill me.' I laughed again.

"Oh and I'm still not sure if he likes me, he gave me like a death glare when the sparkle incident happened."

"Ok well I'm going to come down soon. I need to see for myself before I give my final verdict. And relax, he does so like you. What's not to like?"

"Oh good, because I've missed you, and if I don't get out of this house soon, I'm going to die." I laughed a little again and I heard her laugh too.

"I'll come down tomorrow. How does that sound?"  
"Perfect."


	5. Two Different Worlds Collide

**Chapter 5**

**May 31st**

The next morning, Abby was down early. It was about 8am when she got here. My parents were still asleep. We hugged and I decided that we should stay out front in hopes of seeing the Cullen's. They never showed up in the morning.

"Ugh, of course they would make liars out of me." I sighed.

"Rea… just because they didn't come out yet doesn't mean anything. They could be sleeping since it's… oh I dunno... 8 IN THE MORNING"

"Thought you said that vampires don't sleep" I lifted my hands and made air quotation marks at the word vampire. "And it's not my fault you decided to come this early."

"True" she said, sighing and putting her chin in her hands, staring out across to the Cullen's house. I followed suit, then nudged her lightly.

"So you like it down here?" I asked.  
"Yeah, your neighborhood is cute." She said. There was movement across the street. Both of our heads snapped to look. It was Jasper.

"And that creature just made it even cuter." She said, a huge grin spreading across her face.  
"Watch it, he's Alice's turf." I said, laughing a little. Jasper looked up and saw me, and waved happily. I waved back, and he disappeared back into the house.

"That's the one that when I was near him, I felt happy, and I think he somehow made my parents stop fighting."  
"Hmmm" was all Abby had to say. Jasper returned and walked across the street to us. He was wearing a light jacket with the hood up.

"Good morning Reagan." Ease once again washed over me. I hadn't been aware that I was upset, like I had been the last time this happened. Maybe deep down I was.

"Good morning Jasper." I said cheerily. I saw Abby give me a weird look from the corner of my eye.  
"Who's this?" Jasper said, smiling at Abby now.  
"I'm Abby. One of Reagan's good friends. Just came down for short visit." She was nervous. I could tell. He was too hauntingly beautiful for her not to start stumbling over words or rushing through a sentence. I, on the other hand was somewhat used to it since I had seen them first. Jasper still just smiled, and I noticed that Abby had relaxed if only in the slightest. Must've been hit with the mysterious wave of calm, like me.

"Nice to meet you." He said  
"So Jasper, where's the rest of the family? I still haven't met Alice's parents." I asked him. He turned his focus back on me. His expression flickered for a millisecond but I caught the change. His eyes looked as though his pupil was taking up half of his iris, though the sun was coming out and causing me to squint.

"Um, they are out getting food. We didn't bring any with us on the move, so we need to stock the house now. I stayed behind to watch the house. Edward is with me too." He said, sounding a little on edge. I perked up unintentionally at the mention of Edward's name, something Jasper was sure to have caught. I didn't mean to, but something about the way he seemed to be just as tortured as I was made me drawn to him.

"Tell him I said hi." I said to Jasper as I stood up. Abby followed, never once tearing her eyes from him.  
"Why don't you come over for bit? I'll give you a tour." He said with a smile. I was about to protest when Abby nudged me and said;

"That would be lovely." Jasper smiled and led us up to the large house across the street. We followed him across the street and up to the house. It was bigger up close and I could only begin to imagine what it was like inside. He opened the door and waved us on ahead of him.

Well they were certainly rich that was for sure. It was beautiful inside and quite bright too. Another reason I tabbed away that they couldn't be vampires. Plus… why move down the shore if you can't go outside? A grand staircase was off to the left as soon as you walked in. To the right, a large living room with the most comfortable looking couches and a huge flat screen T.V. It looked like they had every game console that was out too. Then again, three teenage boys in the house, it was bound to be a must.

Next were the dining room and the kitchen. The dining room had a large, beautiful wooden table, which looked like it was made many, many years ago. Seven chairs sat around it. The kitchen was personally, my dream kitchen. The newest appliances lined the walls, pots and pans hung from the ceiling. When you watch the Food Network constantly, you really start to love stuff like that.

"All of our rooms are upstairs, along with Carlisle's study and Esme's craft room." Jasper said. He had taken his jacket off and was standing by the foot of the stairs. Abby had made herself comfortable on the couch and had her head laid back, looking at the ceiling. I gazed up too and right above me in the foyer was a beautiful crystal chandelier.

"It's beautiful." I said breathlessly.  
"Yeah Jasper, you're house is lovely." Abby chimed in. He smiled at us. I gazed around again and something black caught my eye under the staircase. I made my way over and saw it was a piano. A gorgeous grand piano. I walked around it and reached out my hand. I gently brushed my fingers across the keys.

"That's Edward's. He's quite talented." I gently pushed down on one of the keys and the beautiful tone softly echoed through the house. I sighed happyily.The piano reminded me of Tyler...

"Jazz." Came a familiar voice. My head shot up and I pulled my hand away from the instrument. Edward was at the top of the stairs. He didn't look happy.

**EPOV**

I made my way down the stairs, trying to work at a human paceto my brother. I could feel him trying to calm me. He knew I was angry.

"Can I talk to you alone for a second please?" I continued walking towards the kitchen.

"Hello Edward." Reagan said, I ignored her. Jasper followed me and once we were out of earshot, I turned on him.

"What do you think you're doing?" I seethed  
_What are you talking about? _He thought._  
_"They're suspicious!"  
_How am I suppose to know that?! I can't read minds. I only know what she feels. And that's happiness. Something she hasn't felt in a long, long time.  
_"Well now you do. And I don't care. She knows I'm- that **we're** different! And that other one is encouraging it. We can't have her around. She needs to leave."  
_Edward, no. She's not like everyone else. She needs our help. I can feel it. We can't push her away.  
_"Do you want to move again? After we JUST got here?" He sighed and looked down.  
_No_  
"Then I suggest I get out there and ask them to leave."

_But Edward-_ But I was already walking away. Reagan was now sitting my piano, trying to play a few notes softly. Her friend, Abby, was now with her.

"Reagan." She looked up and stopped playing quickly, as if the piano had burned her.  
"You need to leave." Her eyebrows raised and she stood up slowly, her heart rate increasing.

_Harsh, Edward. Alice will not forgive you for this one._ Jasper thought from the kitchen.

Her thoughts were beyond confused. Just do it Edward.

"And I want you to stay away from this house and this family." She gasped softly. Abby's eyes narrowed at me. I walked to the door and opened it, making sure the sun wasn't anywhere near me.

"Leave." I said again. Abby gently took Reagan's hand and guide her to the door. Tears were welling up in her eyes.

_What did I do?_ She thought as she walked by me and out the door. I slammed it shut behind them, maybe a little too hard. The windows shook in their frames, and when I turned around Jazz was there.

"Just because you hate your existence right now, doesn't mean you have the right to ruin it for the rest of us. We swore when we left Forks that we would be different. More open to the humans. I liked her. Didn't you notice that she was the first human I didn't think about trying to kill?" He stormed off to his and Alice's room, shouting insults in his head at me. I backed up till my back touched the door and slid to the floor.

He was right. He never once had a thought to kill her. But I heard her thoughts.

"_They can't be vampires. Everything is too normal."_

She had a pretty good idea about everything. Abby had made sure of that. I couldn't let her get close enough to figure out the rest. None of us wanted to move again. It was too soon.

Then there was the part of me that felt more like a monster than ever before. She really hadn't done anything wrong We confided in each other yesterday. Spilled our hearts, we agreed to start over because of my behavior. And I had just broken that agreement. She was only curious. And I also had slipped up at the park. Jasper was right again. She needed us. She had been through a lot. I pinched the bridge of my nose, closed my eyes and sighed.

I was a wretched creature…  
But it was for the best…


	6. Time, To tell me the Truth

**Chapter 6**

**July 26th**

Everyone was over for my dad's birthday. And I mean everyone. Christian, my brother and his wife Caitlin brought the babies down, Cayden and Rylie. Katy and Geoff were there. And my other sister, Morgan was down with her husband Tom and their little girl, Mia. As usually I was alone, while everyone else cuddled next to their sweetie. Then again I was the youngest. I was used to it by now, but for some reason, it hurt more than ever. I couldn't even think of a good reason why.

Was it because it had been almost two months since Edward told me to stay away from him, his family and their house? I moved on as best I could, drowning myself in work. Going in early all the time and even going in when they called me on a day when I had off. When I wasn't at work, I was at the beach, or went out to any store. Anything to stay away from the house… and him. I didn't want to see him. I poured my heart out on the first day and the next he didn't want anything to do with me.

Ok so maybe drowning in work wasn't the best way to move on. And I was probably being a huge drama queen about the whole thing but I didn't care. I rarely told ANYONE about Carson… and the fact that I spilled the beans within a few hours to him, made me feel vulnerable.

I leaned back in my chair, gazing around at my family. We were outside on the deck talking, and they were all drinking. It was dark now; the children asleep and my parents long since off to bed. I realized that I hated being around my siblings when they were drunk. I sighed and brought my legs up to my chest.

Morgan suddenly spoke up.

"Hey! Who are you?" she said, her voice raised from the buzz she had. My head shot up and looked over to the place she was talking too. He was there… standing at the back gate.

"Edward" I whispered to myself.

"That your boyfriend Reagan?" Christian asked; he must have heard me. He was obnoxiously drunk so I ignored him. I got up slowly and walked down the steps to the gate.

"Hey! The asshole isn't allowed to leave the table, unless it's to get us more drinks or pick up cards. You have to drink for 30 seconds when you get back!" Christian yelled to me. I saw Edward's eyes narrow and I swore I heard him…growl?

"First of all, I'm not even playing. Second, when I get back up there, you alcoholics are going to bed!" I yelled back and they all laughed. I turned back to face Edward, crossing my arms over my chest. He looked angry at them.

"Yes?" I asked anger in my voice because of them as well. They continued to yell things at me. He glared at them for a few more seconds, and then turned his gaze back to me.

"I wanted to talk to you." He said, his voice just as smooth and calming as it was back in May. My eyes narrowed. Oh now he wanted to talk.

"You had months to talk to me, but you didn't want me there." I said, angrier now. He sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"I'm sorry for being rude, really I am. I came here because I realized that I was doing the same thing to you that I did to Bella. I told myself that I wouldn't make the same mistake twice, and there I was doing it again. But… you figured me out." I stared at him. _So I was right. He's a….vampire_, I thought.

"Yes. I am." He whispered. I blinked. He could read my mind. Oh now this was just perfect. Wouldn't be able to hide anything now.

"And I want to be your friend." He added.

"Look Edward. Can we talk about this later? I need to get them inside before we get a noise violation." I turned around before he could answer and walked back to my siblings.

"All right lets go." They ignored me.

"I'm not kidding, get your asses inside." I half yelled, sliding the door open. They protested a little but I was finally able to get them in. Within about ten minutes they were all asleep and I made my way up to my room. I laid in bed and stared at my dark ceiling. He was a vampire. That's why he was avoiding me. He knew I knew. He must have known the instant me and Abby walked into the house that day. He read our minds. He knew we were suspicious.

"Well that was fast." Said a voice from the dark. I sat up so fast that it made my head spin. I heard a ghostly laugh and then my light was flicked on. I should have known it was him.

"Jesus Edward, you nearly gave me a heart attack." I said, putting a hand to my chest.  
"I'm sorry." He said, pressing his lips together to hold back more laughter. He sat at the end of my bed and watched me.

"How did you get in here?' I asked when my breathing was back to normal. He simply jerked his head toward my window.

"It's a habit now. That's how I would visit Bella."  
"I see." I said, though I was now slightly nervous that he could come and go from my room as he pleased.

"Would you like me to start explaining my behavior now?" He asked.  
"Yes, that would be nice." I said, nodding. He sighed and was silent for a moment.

"You figured me out so fast-" But I cut him off.  
"It wasn't just me… when you had sparkled… I knew there was something different about you. Abby just confirmed it." He stared at me.

"Do you want me to explain or not?" he said with a smile.  
"Sorry." I made the motion of zipping my mouth shut, and he chuckled softly, musically. My heart jumped and I couldn't help but smile too, even if I was still mad deep down.

"You figured me out so fast. It took Bella months. Then again, I stayed away from her for a few of those months. We, meaning my kind, we can' let anyone know about us. If we do, they either have to be turned as well… or killed." He stopped and looked down. I didn't know what my face was saying, but I knew that I wasn't scared, like I should be.

"I didn't want to put you through the same things that Bella went through. She was constantly being hunted by others of my kind. Constantly in danger. And I didn't want her to choose the life that I had to lead. So I kept her human for as long as I could. I realized that I keep making the mistakes I made with her. I ran away when her scent was too much for me… even when I came back I avoided her. And now I was avoiding you, all because you called my bluff the first day."

My thought process had shut down, and I only just barely comprehended his words. He ignored me… to keep me safe? Or he ignored me b/c I reminded him too much of Bella?

"Usually my family and I just move when people get suspicious of us. But it was too soon for that, plus I didn't want to leave. Not after I only just met you. I wanted to give you a chance, but I was afraid."

"Wait a minute, so if you're a vampire… how come you haven't tried to kill me yet?" I asked. I had to know. That's what vampires do. Drink the blood of humans. He chuckled again.

"My family and I don't feed off of humans. We hunt animals. That's the reason our eyes are this color." He said, batting his eyelashes at me. I smiled a bit. OK a little more comforting that he didn't want to kill me.

"But I must say, you do smell strangely like Bella did. You're scents are different, but they both attract me." He said. He leaned in a little towards me and inhaled. I watched him, curious. He looked up at me.

"Bella's blood had a smell that I had never encountered in my 108 years before I met her. When I first smelled her, it took me everything I had not to kill her right then and there." He stopped, watching my face. He probably thought I was scared.

"That's… kinda romantic. I mean… your love for her conquered your primal urge to kill her. And right now you're fighting it again so we can talk." I said smiling to myself. He arched one of his eyebrows, his face becoming more beautiful somehow.

"What is it with you humans and not being afraid of anything anymore?" He said.


	7. Is this the reason why?

**Chapter 7**

**July 27th**

Edward and I talked a lot that night. He explained his whole family to me. Seems he wasn't the only one with special abilities. Alice could see the future. And I was on with Jasper. He could control people's emotions. So he had calmed me and my parents down that day. I guess I could go to him when things got rough. I hope he wouldn't mind. Edward said he'd be more than happy to help. I explained my family history to him, and he brought up my siblings behavior.

"They were drunk Edward. It's ok." I assured him.  
"They shouldn't treat you like that. It's not right. I had to hold back."  
"Well I'm glad you did. It was nothing, I'm used to it."

I must have fallen asleep after that because I don't remember much more. When I woke up to the sun hitting me in the face, I was cold. I rolled over slowly and hit rock. No… not rock…

"Edward?" his inhumanly beautiful face was staring down at me. Wow… did I really just think that? Yes he was gorgeous, but I needed to stop thinking that way.

"Thank you for thinking I'm gorgeous." He said softly, moving a strand of my hair from my face. My heart skipped a beat. I couldn't help it.  
"Did you sleep here?" I asked. He laughed to himself.  
"I can't sleep Reagan. Part of being a vampire." What??  
"Oh. Interesting. So, did you** stay** here all night?"  
"I owed you that much." Yes you do. He heard that and laughed again.  
"You're interesting when you sleep. You talk, just like Bella." My heart skipped a few beats again. Crap, I hope I didn't say anything about him.  
"You didn't don't worry." OK that was gonna get annoying. I leaned back against my pillows and stared at the ceiling, trying not to think.  
"Not fair." He said when he couldn't read my mind.  
"Ha, it's not fair that I have no privacy now. Can you at least pretend not to hear me all the time?" I said jokingly. He was suddenly stiff. Crap, he didn't take me seriously did he?

"Someone's coming." He said, and when I turned my head to look at him, he was gone. My door opened then and Morgan walked in with Mia.

"Oh. Rea you're already up. I was gonna have Mia do that for me." She laughed a little to herself, and carried the baby over to me. Mia reached out her hands and I sat up in bed, taking her from Morgan. She walked out and I sat Mia down on my bed.

"You scared off my friend pumpkin. He disappeared." I said to her, giving her a kiss on the forehead. She smiled up at me and started babbling.

"She didn't scare me away." Came Edward's voice. I looked up to find him standing at the end of my bed. He smiled down at Mia. She shied away from him and he frowned, looking back up at me.  
"How would it look to your sister if I was still lying in bed with you?" He had a point. Mia yawned and snuggled against me.

"Edward I have a question." I said suddenly. He stared at me still, worry creasing his forehead.  
"I remind you of her a lot don't I?" I asked, shifting so that Mia was now lying on my chest babbling still. I looked down at her to avoid his piercing eyes. I tried not to think, so he couldn't see where I was going with my question. He sighed and I felt him next to me now.

"Sometimes." He finally said. Now I sighed and let my thought out.

_Is that why you came back here? To be reminded of her? _

He stiffened next to me and I cringed involuntarily. I rubbed Mia's back, trying to refocus, and got up holding her close to me.

"No Reagan." He said and I stopped dead even though I didn't want to.

"That's not why." I couldn't bring myself to look at him. When I didn't respond, I suddenly felt him behind me.

"I remind you of Carson in some ways. You forget I can see into your head." I cringed when he said his name.

"But I don't say it. And I don't think it all the time. Every other thing you say has to do with her." I turned around and faced him.

"I understand you loved her, and she was more than just you're girlfriend," He was taken back. He hadn't known that I figured it out.

"But it's been two years. Start living." He raised his eyebrows.

"You know what I mean by 'living'. If you're going to be around forever, you need to move forward. And I'm going to help you." And with that I walked out of my room, leaving him staring at me, speechless. My mom was already awake downstairs watching TV and drinking her coffee.

"Morning sweetie." She said. I just smiled weakly and put Mia down on the floor. I hated when she acted like nothing was wrong with us. She knew I hated her, and everything she had done to make the past few months hell for me.

"Put a show on for her." I obeyed, and then went back up to my room. He wasn't there. I sighed and covered my face. I was so stupid. When I sighed and looked back up I saw a note on my bed. I looked around my room again then walked to my bed and picked it up.

_Thank you_

Was all it said in a beautiful and elegant script. I smiled a little and got ready for the day.


	8. Strange Things in her Sleep: The Fight

**Chapter 8**

**July 31****st ****early morning**

**EPOV**

I came in through the window like I usually did. The past few nights I came over and we talked about ourselves. I was a little late today. She would be mad when she woke up.

I didn't expect her to be awake. It **was **2 in the morning. Whenever she fell asleep after our talks, I usually had to take her sheets off because she would always be hot. I'd cool her off with just a simple touch of my hand. But tonight she was backed into the corner of her bed, her back against the wall and her legs pulled up to her chest. The light from her computer shone on her face. It shined a little. She was crying. Her thoughts were erratic. A constant "I can't believe him." She was simply staring down at the screen. Music was softly playing but I could clearly hear the words.

"_I try to make it through these lies, and that's all I do. Just don't deny it, don't try to fight this and deal with it. And that's just part of it. If you were dead or still alive, I don't care, I don't care. Just go and leave this all behind. Cause I swear, I don't care. I don't care."_

She had to be thinking about him. I stood silently for a moment, giving her time. We never really talked about Carson or Bella before. After the small argument a few days before, we didn't talk about them. And she tried really hard not to think about him. It had to be awful to go through what she did. Finally fall in love, and then have it wrongfully snatched from her. We were both in the same boat. When another tear fell down her cheek, I quickly moved to sit next to her.

"What happen?" I asked softly, taking her hands gently in mine.

"I instant messaged the screen name because it was online." She said in a detached voice.

"It said it wasn't him, and wanted to know how I got the name…" She closed her eyes.  
"I **know** it was him." She leaned her head back against the wall as more tears spilled freely from her eyes. It was then that I swore to myself, that one day I would find this boy, if he was out there, and give him what he deserved. I pulled her against me and she shivered when the cold of my body seeped through to her skin. I went to move but she held on to me.

_I'm fine. Thank you._ She thought

"Don't bother with him. I'll find him one day, and make him pay for what he did." She just nodded. I moved her gently so that she was lying down and put her blanket over her. I then took her computer, shut it down and put it on her desk. I laid with her till she fell asleep, brushing the falling tears from her face and then pulling her to me to rub her back. A little before morning, I heard a stutter in her heart beat. She stirred a little, taking a deep breath and then rolling over. I stared at her, making sure she was fully asleep. Then it happened again. Her heart skipped a beat, then another right after. Suddenly she shot up, gasping loudly, and breathing heavily.

"Reagan, are you ok? What's wrong?" I asked.  
"No-nothing. I'm alright." She said, holding her chest.  
"It certainly doesn't look like 'nothing'. Your heart skipped a few beats too." She took her time to answer.  
"I must be inheriting my dad's sleep apnea." She said with a nervous laugh. She could be right. She just had the same symptoms as sleep apnea. She laid back down and moved over to me again. I gently wrapped my arms around her. This seemed like it was going to become a frequent thing, her falling asleep in my arms. And as of right now, I didn't mind the idea. She was really growing on me. Who knows? Maybe this friendship could turn to more.

**RPOV**

**August 2****nd**** mid day**

It started off like a normal day…kinda. I woke up to Edward not being there. Usually he left after I woke up, but today he wasn't there. I worked for a few hours, and then came home to find my parents fighting once again. I could hear their screams from down the street. I quietly came through the front door, trying not to interrupt them and have the yelling shifted to me, when my mother screamed something awful to my father. Suddenly they were both throwing punches and kicks at each other, and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't move nor tear my eyes away from the scene playing out before me. They just kept going. My mother repeatedly punching my father in the stomach and face, as my father latched onto her hair and smacked her hard across her face. Finally my muscles regained movement and I turned and ran out the door; to the one place I knew I'd be safe.

Their house.


	9. She's Coming undone

**Chapter 9  
**

**August 2****nd**** mid day**

I pounded on the door, screaming for any of them. The door was open so I ran in, still screaming their names. No one answered my calls. _Please_ I thought. Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme. Any of them. I shouted and shouted, ran around the bottom half of the house until I landed in the living room. I finally yelled out the last name.

"Edward!" and I collapsed to the floor. The yell was strangled, and it barely sounded like his name, but I had no strength now.

"Reagan?" said a voice. My head jerked up to find not Edward, but Jasper at the top of the stairs across from the living room. In a blink of an eye he was kneeling next to me.

"Reagan what's wrong? Did something happen?" he asked calmly. All I could do was nod. I couldn't stop crying.  
"Your parents?" I nodded. Jasper sighed and lifted me from the floor and then I was on the couch.  
"It got violent… it never gets that way." I sobbed.  
"Just stay here, I'll be right back" He got up to leave but I grabbed his arm.  
"Please don't go." I pleaded with him.  
"I'll be quick."

And with that, he was gone, my hand gripping the empty space where he'd been. I cried harder. I didn't want to be alone. Why was all this happening? Why couldn't things be good for once? I just wanted it all to go away, for things to go back to how they were when I was younger. My parents to get along, my siblings to act like normal human beings. My chest suddenly felt like it was on fire. I couldn't breathe. It hurt to breathe. It wasn't because of the crying and yelling either. I clutched my chest and almost as quickly as the pain came, it disappeared. He couldn't have been gone for more than a minute for before I knew it he was back.

"They'll be ok for a little till you get back, but I'll go back with you so it stays that way" He whispered. Again I could only nod. Everything was finally taking its toll on me.

"Thank you." My strangled voice finally managed to squeeze out.  
"You need to rest now. Sleep for a little. I won't leave." He said, putting his arm around my shoulder. The cold was strangely comforting and I leaned into him. I felt the calm spread over me, but so much stronger this time. My eyes shut on their own and I was asleep.

When I woke up, I didn't open my eyes at first. My neck was incredibly stiff, like I'd been tense the whole time I was sleeping. And I was cold. Very cold. Something was touching my hair, and when I opened my eyes, I was looking up at Jasper. My head was resting on his knee, his one arm still around me while his other played with a strand of my hair. That's why I was stiff; I was practically sleeping on a rock. I remembered Edward telling me that Jasper was the weakest when it came to control in the family. And though his eyes weren't as gold today, he seemed to be at complete ease right now.

"How long was I asleep?" I asked groggily. I slowly sat up, rubbing the back of my neck to loosen the muscles.  
"About 3 hours." He said, still smiling at me.  
"Sorry that I fell asleep on you. I hope Alice didn't get the wrong idea." I said, realizing where I ended up in my slumber and wondering if Alice had seen.  
"She won't mind. And I don't either. You needed to rest." I smiled the tiniest bit.  
"You know, Edward was right. You're quite funny when you sleep." Jasper said, a hint of laughter lining his tone. Oh no.  
"I talked didn't I?" I said, looking down, completely embarrassed. He laughed softly.  
"Just a little, but don't worry, it was mostly mumbling. I couldn't really figure out what you were saying." He suddenly turned serious.

"You're heart skips beats when you sleep, and it gets irregular."  
"Yeah I know. I think I inherited my dad's sleep apnea. It's nothing." I was still trying to convince myself that that was all it was. I hated when people fretted over me. He was still in serious mode.

"Reagan… what happened with your parents?" I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Then I told him what happened. He watched me with intent eyes; they never once left my face. When I was done I looked down, still embarrassed, but this time by my parents behavior. He lifted my chin gently.

"You feel guilty. Don't. I don't mind helping you" I sighed, knowing he was probably right.  
"You shouldn't have to deal with this Rea. It's not right. But know that me and my family are going to be here for you." I didn't answer. How many times had I heard that before? And how many times did those people actually mean it? Yeah… I think you get the idea.

"OK?" he asked when I didn't answer. I nodded now. I thanked the good lord, if there was one that the Cullen's moved here. I had a feeling his family _would _ help.

"Come on; let's get you back to the house. I'll stay with you to keep them in line." I looked up at him, fear in my eyes.  
"I promise there won't be any more fighting. Not while I'm around."  
"I trust you." He took my hand and lead me off the couch and back to my house. I realized then that I really liked Jasper. He had to be my favorite out of the family, next to Edward. We didn't do much when we got back. Jasper kept his promise and my parents were well at ease. I walked up to my room and laid on my bed, curling my knees up to my chest not even bothering to get under the sheets. I still didn't feel ok, I knew he was trying to help, but no amount of his power could calm me unless I was asleep. Not wanting to know what happened when I woke up and Jasper wasn't there to make things better. I just wanted to disappear.

He seemed to know what I wanted. He laid behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder. The heavy calm seeped over me quickly and before I was asleep I thought about one thing.

Edward.


	10. You're here now: Harder to Breathe

**Chapter 10**

**August 2****nd**** late night**

When I woke up for the second time, it was dark in my room. My clock said 11:30pm. I'd fallen asleep around 4. I was under my sheets now. Jasper must have done that. I rolled over and hit the all too familiar rock. I reached out, thinking it was Jasper, and hoping he would put me back to sleep, but cold arms wrapped around me instead and pulled me against more cold stone. Immediately my eyes welled up with more tears and I willingly moved closer to him, not caring that I could freeze.

Edward didn't need to say anything. He obviously knew what I was thinking and what must have happened. I liked it that way. He just held me as I cried. I don't even know how long I cried, but it felt like forever, and I didn't even know I had that many tears left in me. He was humming something when I finally calmed down enough to speak. If his voice could get any more beautiful…

"I'm sorry I'm crying." I choked out at last. I rubbed furiously at my eyes and tried to sit up but he held me to his chest. Rubbing his hands up and down my back gently.  
"Don't ever be sorry. Especially over something you couldn't control." He whispered, his voice velvet smooth. I couldn't speak. I couldn't think. He reached down and lifted my chin gently with one of his cool fingers. I searched for his face in the dark, as I felt his get closer to me.

"I'm here now. I won't let anything happen." He whispered in my ear, his breath tickling my neck slightly. My voice finally returned after a few more moments.

"Where were you today?" I asked, still searching for any hint of his face. My room was pitch black, and even his snow white skin wasn't sticking out. He was quiet for a moment.

"We were all hunting." He finally said.  
"Why was Jasper home then?" He was silent again.  
"Edward?" I asked reaching out to resting my hand on what I hoped was his face. His cold hand was placed over mine in seconds.  
"Sorry. He didn't want to come. He… well he actually wanted to stay and watch over you. Alice must have told him what was going to happen." He sighed and all I could do was move closer to him. I moved my hand down to his chest and leaned my head against it as well.  
"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you." He whispered. I smiled a little.  
"Never be sorry. Especially over something you couldn't control. You had to hunt. I understand. Like you said, you're here now. That's all that matters." He stayed silent, and I knew he had to be brooding. I realized then that there was no sound coming from his chest. It didn't surprise me; I knew he wouldn't have one. But it was the first time that I was close enough to not hear it.

I had this thing when I was still talking to Carson… I would always say that I couldn't wait to fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat. That that was all I wanted to hear. How strange it was now that even though I couldn't hear Edward's…I didn't mind. He heard my thoughts.

"I'm sorry that it's not beating." He whispered in my ear again, slowly rubbing my back.  
"I'm finding it strangely comforting." I smiled to myself. Suddenly, the chest pain was back. I couldn't breathe again. I was gasping for air. I vaguely heard Edward saying my name, asking me what was wrong before everything went even blacker than before.


	11. Nice to Meet you Dr Cullen

**Chapter 11**

**August 3****rd**** early morning**

When I woke up… again, I noticed that I wasn't in my room, and it was still dark out. The bed was horribly uncomfortable and I heard a strange beeping noise that was starting to bug me. Everything was white… oh… a hospital. I looked down and sure enough there was an IV in my hand and I was in that ugly gown they make you wear. But why was I here? I only passed out right?

"Good to see you awake Ms. Matthews." Said a voice that was also strangely beautiful. I looked up and there standing at the end of my bed was a doctor that could only exist in a TV show. He was too damn gorgeous. He didn't look a day over 23.

"I'm Dr. Cullen." He said with a gently smile. Well that cleared up the beauty thing. Edward's father. Vampire… but wait… he's a doctor? How is that possible?

"I don't have to read minds to know what you're thinking. I've been like this for a very, very long time." He lowered his voice. "I'm 365 years old. A lot of practice being around you humans. I'm quite immune to it all now." He laughed softly and I couldn't help but smile.

"So Dr.-"  
"Please, call me Carlisle."  
"…Carlisle. Why am I here?"  
"Well Edward brought you here when you passed out. He was concerned because your heart beat was quite irregular."  
"But that's nothing. If anything its just slight sleep apnea. I'm ok." He studied my face.  
"Reagan, I'm not so sure. The murmur might be something more. Have you experienced anything else?"  
"Well… um. I've been having chest pain, and sometimes it's hard to breath. But that's it." He studied my face again, he must be thinking.  
"This has me a little concerned. I'm not exactly sure what is going on, but this is more than sleep apnea Reagan." He said gently. He moved closer to me, and took my hand free hand in his."

"There are some tests we need to do to make sure it's not a few things-"  
"Do whatever you have to do Carlisle." I said forcing a smile. I was getting scared now. It was something more.

I went through the rest of the wee morning hours getting all types of tests done, being thrown into this machine and that machine, all the while worrying what could be wrong with me, wondering where Edward was, and a little angry that Carlisle was so calm during all of it. The handsome doctor told me to sleep while we waited for the results since they would take a while. He was also going to keep tabs on my heart beat while I slept.

After sleeping for what felt like forever, I woke up to a cold hand on my forehead. Edward was smiling over at me when I met his gaze, and I smiled too.

"Thank you for whisking me off to the hospital." I said  
"No problem. You're lucky you live so close to one, and that Carlisle decided to work here."  
"I guess so." I said and looked down.  
_Ca_r_lisle doesn't know what's wrong with me does he? It must be serious.  
_"Don't worry. He's going to figure it out. He is a very smart man." He whispered. I kept my eyes down and didn't think anymore. A few minutes later Carlisle came in holding a clipboard.

"Have a nice rest Reagan?" he asked casually, flipping through the different papers on the board.  
"Sure." I said, still not looking up.  


"Well it seems that you are negative for everything we tested you for. But there is one more thing I need to do."  
"What's that?" I asked, curious now and looking up at the gorgeous blonde doctor.  
"I'm going to have to operate on you. I have a theory on what it could be, and the only way to know is to take an endomyocardial biopsy."  
"What does that mean?" I asked. Carlisle hesitated a little, which got me worrying more.  
"Reagan… I have to take a small piece of your heart for testing." My eyes widened. He had to do what?!  
"Carlisle… I don't know…" I stuttered  
"Reagan, trust him. He knows what he's doing." Edward said calmly.  
"Edward, I'd like you to help with this." Carlisle said to his son. Edward nodded.

Why did he need him?

"You forget Reagan; I am over 100 years old. I have 3 medical degrees. You'll be perfectly safe with both of us."  
"Ok… I trust you both." I said. I then covered my face with my hand. Why was this happening? Edward gently pulled it away.  
"Don't worry Reagan. Everything is going to be ok." Carlisle assured me.

An hour later I was being prepped for surgery.

"Carlisle? Could you tell me what exactly you are going to do?" I laid down on the operating table and Edward covered my lower half with a blanket.  
"Well, I'm going to put a catheter into a vein in your neck. Then I'm going to guide it using an echocardiogram and place it inside your heart. Then put a bioptome into the catheter and remove a small section of your heart from the inside." He said simply.

"Oh… wow. Um sounds… painful." I shuttered a little.  
"You'll be asleep my dear, you won't feel a thing. And even when you wake up, I'll make sure you don't feel anything. Edward will be with you the whole time." He said, patting my head lightly and going off to scrub in. He had already begun the flow of anesthesia and my eyes were beginning to close. Edward smiled down at me.

"I'll be here when you wake up. I promise."

Then the world went black.


	12. Pretty Girl is Suffering

**Chapter 12**

**August 3****rd**** mid day**

**EPOV**

I did not like the sight of her. Unconscious to what Carlisle and I were doing. Tubes and needles all over her. It made me angry. I monitored her while Carlisle inserted the camera into the catheter and began making his way to her heart. Her heart looked so fragile. Well of course it was, but just watching it beat… and then every now and then stutter for no reason was hard to watch. Once the sample was collected and she was stitched up, I moved her to a recovery room and sat by her side. Not too long after, Alice and Jasper came in.

_How is she?_ _Does Carlisle know what's wrong yet?_ Alice thought to me.

"She's ok for now. And no… he doesn't know." I said looking at Reagan. I felt Jasper's hand on my shoulder and then the usual calm.

"Can you see anything Alice?" I asked.  
"Only that she'll wake up soon. She might start crying but that's because of the anesthesia. But other than that, her future is very, very unclear." She sighed and sat on the other side of the bed, her eyes intent on my face.

_You love her_. She thought.  
_I don't need my power to see that. You may not think so now. But you'll see in time._

I didn't look at her. I kept my gaze on Reagan, waiting for her to wake up. Maybe she was right, maybe she was wrong. Right now, all I cared about was making sure my friend was ok. She needed to be ok. I needed her.

She stirred. She slowly was being released from the anesthesia. Alice was right again. She started to cry a little. I held her hand and stroked her hair.

"It's ok Reagan. I'm right here. It's all over." Her head lolled back and forth a few times and her eyes finally flitted open. When they landed on me she smiled, though she was still crying. I wiped the tears away.

"I'm ok." She rasped out. Her throat must be sore from the breathing tube.

"Shhh. Don't talk. You're ok. I'm here. And so are Alice and Jasper." She looked around and they both smiled at her. She lit up. I knew she really liked them. She talked about them the most. Then again they were the ones who paid attention to her. Emmett did too, but Rosalie held him back some. She may have loosened up a little, but she was still a stickler for befriending the humans.

We brought her back up to her room, and I told her to rest some more. I needed to find Carlisle and help him with the biopsy. He was down in the lab when I finally got to him.

"Anything?" I asked as soon as I walked in the door. He didn't turn from the microscope he was at.

"Yes." He said, his voice sounding grave.  
"What's wrong with her Carlisle?" He sighed  
"She's dying Edward." He finally turned around to face me. I stared at him in disbelief. I didn't even hear Alice come up next to me. She must have seen.

"From what?" I demanded.  
"My theory was correct. She has Giant Cell Myocarditis. I cannot even calculate the amount of time she has left. It's all up to whether or not we can find a donor. In the mean time we'll give her immunosuppressive drugs to try and slow it 

down. But her tissue type is puzzling. I don't know if we can find a donor." Carlisle hated to give these kinds of diagnoses.

"You should be there when I tell her. She'll need you." He said quietly. He got up and walked past me. Alice placed a hand on my shoulder.

"I can't see anything yet, but as soon as I do, you'll be the first to know."

I did not want to deliver this news. Not one bit.

**RPOV**

My parents had come to see me but I was asleep. Actually, I was faking it when I heard they were coming. They didn't care enough to deserve my attention. I was awake when Carlisle, Edward and Alice came in. They all looked composed, but I didn't trust it.

"How are you feeling Reagan?" Carlisle asked.  
"I'm doing ok. My neck feels alright and everything. Do we know what's wrong?"  
"Yes we do." He looked over to Edward, who then came over and took my hand. Not good…  
"Reagan… you have Giant Cell Myocarditis. This is a disease that can be very rapid. To be put in the simplest way I can think of… your heart is failing. It's a condition that we don't know much about. We don't know how or why it occurs. And it's quite rare sadly. You're very lucky Reagan."

"How in God's name am I lucky?!" It was all hitting me now. I was dying.  
"Some people don't get a diagnosis. They just end up dying for what seems like no reason. We need to put you on the transplant list right away."  
"I need a transplant?" I half whispered. Edward stroked the back of my hand with his thumb.  
"If the medicine we are going to prescribe to you doesn't work, then yes, you're going to need a transplant." I was awed into silence. I didn't know what to say.

"I know it's a lot to take in my dear, but we are going to get you better. I am going to do everything I can to see to that." He gave me a smile, and walked out of the room.

"I'm going to die."I said to myself.  
"No you're not."Edward said, sounding more like he was trying to convince himself then me, but I was too absorbed in my own thoughts to catch on to it.

I knew I was going to die. Something was bound to happen. I shut down my thoughts to keep Edward out for my next one. I was starting to really like him… maybe even starting to love him. There was no way he felt the same. He was still too hung up on Bella. Bella... the girl who he would most likely be married to right now if the accident hadn't happened.

"You'll be out of here by tomorrow. And then the medicine will help. You may not even need a transplant." He was running on about me getting better, while I was focusing on my death. I glanced at Alice, and she knew what I was thinking. She was sifting through the future trying to find me.


	13. Open Your Eyes and See Me Leaving

**Chapter 13**

**August 19th early evening**

The drugs aren't helping. I keep waking up in the middle of the night with the pain in my chest, and Edward confirms that my heart keeps stopping. That has caused so many more problems. My family is already on low times. My dad hasn't had a job in a year and a half. He's been finding odd jobs here and there and my mom hasn't been able to find anything. But it's not enough. Meaning, we have no health insurance. And the drugs cost A LOT of money… money that my family doesn't have. And now with them not working, my parents don't want me taking them anymore. They refuse to let Carlisle pay for them either. He has tested me a few times over the past weeks, confirming that the drugs aren't working. And apparently my tissue type is just as rare as this God damn disease. It's going to be even harder to find a donor. Great right?

I've asked him not to tell Edward. Just to tell him that it's taking a while for them to kick in.

I can feel myself deteriorating. Every time I look in the mirror, I look different. I'm getting skinnier, I look paler. I don't want to eat…I've basically come to the conclusion that I want to die…

But I could become a vampire…

No.

Edward wouldn't want that. He didn't want his fiancé to become a vampire. Why would he want to change a friend?

He still stay's with me every night to watch over me. I'm starting to love him. I can feel it. I protect my thoughts from him whenever he's near me. If he finds out…I'm afraid that he'll leave. I know he still loves Bella. He'll never love me. We're friends. That's all.

**August 21****st ****early morning**

Edward left a little while ago. Now I can think.

I'm dying. God knows how much longer I have left. Two days ago, I convinced my parents to let me fly out to Australia, the place I've been dying to go since I was 10 years old. My siblings had gotten me a car for a "Congrats on finally getting your license" present. I sold it last night. I'm getting the money tomorrow and ordering my ticket. No way that I'm just giving it to my parents. I just want to go there and die. I'm not telling the Cullen's…I'm not sure why. They have helped me through so much, and here I am just running out on them. It'll be easier.. I have to convince myself that it'll be easier not to say goodbye to them. Especially Edward…

NO. Reagan, stop thinking like that. You can't love him. You're dying. You can't…and he'll never love you.

He has no clue I'm leaving.

**August 22 early evening**

Now that I'm not going back to school, I feel like a big weight has been lifted on my chest. If I wasn't dying, today I would be freaking out that in two days I would be going back there. But now I can relax a little. The people came and got my car today, and I got my money. I purchased my ticket. I leave tomorrow morning. I've only packed a few things. I've said my goodbyes to my siblings, Cayden, Rylie, and Mia. Now I was sitting on the back deck, just staring out into the back yard. Taking everything in. There was movement then in the yard, and a spiky black haired girl was suddenly in front of me. And she didn't look very happy. Damnit I forgot about her. She knew as soon as I knew I was leaving.

"Alice." I said, ignoring the death glare she was giving me.  
"Oh don't act like you don't know why I'm here." She said angrily. I just looked at her.  
"Don't you dare leave Reagan Matthews. I know nothing is working. But you can't just leave."  
"I have to." I said, determined.  
"Why are you doing this?!" She yelled.  
"Well what do you see?" her brow furrowed.  
"You're parent's are going to miss you no matter what you may think. But not that much. I assume you know that." She said the last line with a growl. She hated my parents just as much as I did. SHE loved me more than they did.

"I see us moving again." Her mood instantly shifted. She was sad now.  
"Reagan… I don't want to move again. Please… stay."

She never mentioned Edward. She just mentioned the family has a whole. I figured it wouldn't hurt him too much. That was what I needed to hear. They would have to move because I knew. They wouldn't have to worry about their secret getting out… Their secret would die with me.

"Alice. I need to get away. My whole life has been trying to live up to my siblings and parents expectations. I want to do something for myself for once. I can't keep trying to please everyone. I'm dying. I need to do this. I need this time to come together and face what is going to happen to me."

She looked at me pleadingly.

"Please Alice. I need to do this. Don't tell anyone I'm leaving. Don't come after me. If they find out so be it. But don't tell them. Especially Edward." We stood in silence for what felt like forever, just staring at each other. She must have finally given in because she nodded. She could see that my future was still the same. I was going to go.

**APOV**

I left her alone after that. But as I was walking away, my earlier vision of Edward came back to me.

_A sudden flash of Edward's heartbroken face came into view. He dropped to his knees, his head in his hands._

"_What do you mean she's gone?" he whispered.  
"I'm sorry Edward. She didn't want anyone to know." I said to him. He looked up at me with anger filling his eyes.  
"Where is she Alice?"  
"I… can't tell you. She made me promise." He was gone before I said 'me promise'._


	14. I Never Once Loved My Life

**Sorry for the delay everyone. College is a bitch. Okay so I'm not good with this time difference thing, so when the next chapter comes out (since it will be in Alice's POV) I'm not going to write down the day and time and such. It's too much to think about lol. Hope you enjoy! Reviews are appreciated! A big thanks to gurlwriter and buggage! Thanks for all the great reviews you two!  
Ringtone: "City" by Sara Barielles**

**

* * *

****Chapter 14**

**August 23****rd**** 4:00am**

Edward didn't come tonight. Maybe he went hunting. I knew Alice didn't spill because he never showed up to chain me to the floor and prevent me from leaving.

I was in the car with my dad. He was driving me to the airport, which he was not happy about. He was pissed that he had to get up early. We didn't talk much. The only time we actually spoke was when he helped me get my bags out of the car.

"Call when things are getting bad and we'll be ready to get you." He kissed my forehead quickly, and drove off.  
"Bye dad." I whispered, staring off after the car. I sighed and made my way into the already busy airport.

My flight was at 7:00am, and we actually took off on time. If I wasn't already dying, the flight probably would have killed me. It was ridiculously long. I finally made it to Australia. It was August 26th at 9:00pm. I'm never doing this again. But now I'm here. And that's all that matters. I got a cab and drove to the nearest hotel in Sydney.

I didn't have much money so I got the cheapest room they have. I don't know how long I'll be here, so it's best to not use all my money. The man gave me my key, and I walked up the flight of stairs to the second floor to my room. I didn't even unpack; I just flopped down on my bed and almost immediately passed out.

**August 27****th**** 8:30am**

I woke up the next morning still very tired and jet lagged. My heart had stopped about four times. That's the most it's done it in one night. I feel like absolute crap. I decided to take a shower, hoping that would help. I stood under the hot water for a very long time, and after a while I just sat down in the tiny stall… and cried. I shouldn't cry, only because it makes my chest hurt and I want to go through this experience as pain free as possible.

But the tears just kept coming, no matter how much I wiped them away. I wasn't even like, sobbing or making noise. My eyes just leaked that damn salt water, and I thanked god that when you're in the shower, no one can tell that you're crying. Not that that mattered any. No one was here to see me cry.

After 45 minutes of hot water pounding my face, I got out, dried off and got dressed. I wonder if they noticed that I'm gone. I wonder if Edward is already running at top speed to get here yet. I shouldn't be thinking about it. It makes me stresses, and makes my heart hurt more. Not just because of my condition, but because I love him. Yeah, I said it. I. Love. Him.

I'm such a fool sometimes. I fall for the wrong people all the time. It doesn't make sense to love someone who doesn't love you back. It doesn't make sense to love a VAMPIRE. Yet the heart wants what the heart wants. And you can't control that.

Even if Edward was here, I wouldn't know it till night. And it stays light here for a long time. I'd be asleep by the time he'd be able to come out. Unless he wanted to stop traffic. As much as I want him to come, I really don't want him too. As much as I want him to ride up on his white horse… ok wait, he might want to feed on that… Sorry, my lame attempt to try and get myself to laugh. Anyway, as much as I want him to drive up in his silver Volvo and save me from my death…I want to die.

I've thought about it for a while now. My only reasons for staying were four people. Cayden, Rylie, Mia, and Abby. I told Abby about my situation and where I'd be. She told me she loved me, and to call her everyday so she knew that when I didn't call, that I was gone. My nieces and my nephew were the biggest piece of happiness that I ever got. They always put a smile on my face. Now I'd never see them again.

I took a cab to the beach. I wanted to see the Great Barrier Reef. Though I couldn't actually go underwater and see it, being this close was the next best thing. The water was so clear, and blue. I took out my camera and took a few picture of the setting around me to send back to my parents. Just incase, by some miracle, I lived, I wanted pictures.

I spent most of the day on that beach, just playing in the sand, and wading into the "warmer than the Atlantic Ocean" water. It was so beautiful around here. I struck up a few conversations with people just to hear their accent, and by around 5:00pm I walked back to my hotel.

**August 31****st**** 5:00am**

I woke up to the pain in my chest, and as if they knew it was going to happen, my phone rang. It was a familiar tone I did NOT want to hear. It was Alice. When I realized who it was I knew then that it wasn't a coincidence she called right as I was having an attack.

"_In these, deep city lights, girl could get lost tonight. I'm finding, every reason to be gone, there's nothing here to hold on to."_

I cut the music off and answered in a huff.

"What Alice?" I asked.

"He knows."


	15. Lost in the Dark, Fallin Apart

**Chapter 15**

**APOV**

It's only been about a day, but I miss her. It's been boring without her just across the street. She was the only person to fill the void that Bella's death had left me with. Even though it's been just over a day, it's been hard to try and keep my mind away from what she had decided. Anytime Edward came around I had to switch my train of thought. Like that time I had to start translating the Battle Hymn of the Republic, and Korean sign language during the Forks graduation. I tried to keep it very simply. Thinking of Jasper, or maybe that Rosalie was making me made, or that I needed to go shopping. All quite believable scenarios. Sooner or later I was going to run out of excuses to think of. He would find out.

**Next Day**

I needed to tell someone. It was eating away at me. I walked up to Carlisle's study. Edward was hunting with the boys, he wouldn't hear.

"Yes Alice?" Came Carlisle's voice when I knocked on the door. I came in and sat down in the chair across from his desk.  
"She's gone Carlisle." He knew who I was talking about.  
"Well Alice, it was going to happen sooner than later-"  
"No. She left the country, to die." Carlisle sat motionless.  
"What do you mean?"  
"I saw it. She was planning on leaving. I went over to stop her, or to make sure it wasn't true. That there was a glitch in my vision. But it was true. She was leaving the next day… for Australia… to die. She didn't want us to know… she didn't want _Edward_ to know. She didn't want us to stop her. She… wants to die. "I stopped and glanced out his window. Carlisle sighed, and was next to me in an instant. He didn't say anything at first.  
"She loves him Carlisle." I looked over and met his gaze.  
"And he loves her… I can feel it."  
"You have to respect her wish Alice." He said gently, placing his hand on my shoulder.  
"She would do the same for you. You know that." It was true, but I shook my head.  
"But Carlisle, if Edward finds out-"  
"Edward… needs to try and find love among our kind." I looked at him, eyes wide.  
"How could you say that…?"  
"I hate to think it too Alice, but if Edward keeps falling after these humans, and refuses to change them, he's only going to continue to hurt himself."  
"But he could save her! She's close to death! It's what you did! She needs us; we have been a much better family to her than her own! Edward has seen her past. She needs to stay with us!" Carlisle sighed and stood up. I felt another presence in the room. Looking over I saw Jasper standing in the doorway. I felt his calm seep over the room.  
"I know that Alice, he's told me too. I love her as if she was my own. She's helped our family cope with Bella's death. I did everything I could to help her, and I respected her wish to not tell Edward that she was getting worse." I hadn't known that. I only knew she was getting worse when I saw my vision of her leaving. I was still staring at my soulmate in the doorway. I walked over to him, and without even having to ask he answered me.  
"No, he's still out with Emmett."  
"Alice." Said Carlisle. I turned to look at him.  
"I'm sorry. I know she meant a lot to you."  
"She meant a lot to all of us." Said Jasper.  
"Yes, but this is what she wants. We must respect it."  
It was then that I knew that if I was still able to cry, I'd be sobbing right now. I wanted Reagan to be happy, but I wanted her to be happy with us.

"This is 'Bella' all over again…" I whispered.

**A few days later**

Carlisle's words continuously ran through my head. I knew he was right, but I kept wishing he was wrong. We needed to respect the fact that she wanted this for herself. I don't know how Edward hadn't figured it out yet. He'd been over to her house. I guess she made her parents use an excuse too. But he would read their minds and see the truth. I was in the kitchen, talking to Esme when my vision came to life.

"So now she's gone… She told me not to tell anyone, but it's been eating away at me… And what kills me most… is that they love each other." I felt bad for spilling the secret twice…technically three times because Jasper overheard. Esme shook her head.  
"I know dear. It's hard for all of us." She said softly. I heard something at that point. I don't know how my sharp hearing didn't pick it up before. I must have been too wrapped up in talking to notice. Edward's footsteps had stopped and he dropped the book he was reading. What I heard was his breathing stop. I winced and Esme raised her hand to her mouth. I turned slowly and saw Edward's heartbroken face. He dropped to his knees, his head in his hands.

"What do you mean she's gone?" he whispered.  
"I'm… sorry Edward. She didn't want anyone to know. I tried to stop her-" I said to him, stumbling a little when he looked up at me with anger filling his eyes.  
"Where is she Alice?"  
"I… can't tell you. Only that she's far away. She made me promise." I changed my words to try and help him, and again he was gone before I said 'me promise'.

"Edward!" Esme yelled after him. I ran to grab my cell phone and immediately dialed Reagan's number, never taking into account what time it was in Australia. She picked up after three rings.

"What Alice?" She said groggily. She sounded angry.  
"He knows." I heard her breath hitch. This wasn't going to go well.

**RPOV**

**August 31****st**** 5:02am Australia**

"What do you mean he knows?" I started to panic. This wasn't happening.  
"He overheard me saying something to Esme. Reagan… he's crushed. He heard me say you love him." Oh…no she didn't.  
"Does he know I'm here?"  
"No. He just knows you're somewhere out in the world." I didn't say anything. I couldn't say anything. Why was she even talking about it? She promised not to.  
"Alice… why were you-"  
"I had to tell someone. Esme's my mother, she understands."  
"You better hope he doesn't find me Alice. I'll never forgive you." I said sternly and slammed my phone shut. I threw it against the hotel wall. I hope it broke. I layed backed down, my heart stuttering like crazy. I put my hand on my chest and tried to steady my breathing, taking deep breathes. God why can't I just die now? Please… don't let him find me.


	16. I Tried To Survive Life On My Own

Chapter 16

I couldn't go back to sleep. I was too riled up. Actually, freaking out was more like it. I started pacing my room, kicking my phone every time it rang. Alice called me back five times, but I just couldn't bring myself to answer. I was still too mad that she let it slip, whether it was intentional or not. Then there was one time that a number I didn't know called. When I listened to the voicemail, and heard Edward's voice, pleading with me to call him back, I took the battery out of my phone, though part of my heart ached for me to call him back. Maybe that was just my condition acting up.

It struck me then that we never had each other's number. We never needed it. Edward was either always there, or he could hear my thoughts and would come over. Alice must have given it to him. Hopefully that was all she gave him. I began gathering my stuff and throwing it in the small duffle bag that I had. I knew what I had to do. I had to go somewhere else. Try to keep on the move. I checked out of the hotel at 6:30 in the morning. Then I realized it probably didn't matter where I went. He'd find my scent.

**August 31****st**** 12:24pm**

I don't know how or where I ended up. I was in such a daze that I didn't pay attention. But now I was in another hotel, lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. I felt a lot weaker form all the rushing around, plus I hadn't eaten in about a day. It made me sick to eat. But I had yet to have an attack today, though it was only a matter of time. I was tired. I didn't want to run, but for some reason I don't want him to find me. I shouldn't have fallen for him. I'm stupid.

I hadn't called Abby yet today, so I put the battery back in my phone, ignoring the three voicemails I had and called her. Two rings later she answered.

"Reagan."  
"Abby he knows, he's coming to look for me. I changed hotels. I don't know where I am." I blurted out so fast, that I'm sure it couldn't have made any sense.  
"Calm down sweetie, it'll be ok." Of course. Only Abby could understand my gibberish.  
"I don't want him to find me."  
"But why Rae? Why do you-"  
"I don't know why! …I just don't want him to."  
"Reagan…I'm going to be honest with you. Whether he loves you back the way you love him or not, I'd rather him change you, and you stay on this planet, than have you die out there alone. Away from the people who care for you."  
"You're the only one who cares about me Abby."  
"Reagan, come on."  
"You're not helping Abigail."  
"Look hunny. I know you just want this whole dying thing to happen, but what if he does love you? Will you please consider letting him change you? Please? You're my best friend Rae…like I said, I don't want you to die alone out there."

My heart stuttered at her words. I couldn't hurt her like that, but I just wanted to die. To get away from everything. Stop all this pain, stop the hurt my family caused me. That Carson caused me. That I put on myself by falling for Edward when he clearly wasn't in a state to fall back in love…wait…

"I love you Abby. Thank you for everything you've done for me." I said and gently hung up the phone.

I finally understood something. I never actually stepped back and looked back on everything he'd done for me. He stayed with me every night. Each time, his arms never left my body. He dried my tears, listened to my rants and took me to the hospital in the middle of the night. Never once leaving my side. Was it possible that he did love me back…?

I didn't sleep that night. I sat up in my bed waiting for him. I had called Alice when my revelation hit and told her where I was. Then told her to call Edward and tell him. It wasn't until the following night, meaning I had been up for about thirty four hours straight, that Edward Cullen opened the door to my room.


	17. You've Givin Me Strength to Find Home

**Chapter 17**

He was at my side in an instant. It was quiet for a while, because we just started at each other, most likely making sure that we both weren't hallucinating. His expression changed many times in those few moments of silence. From relieved to see me, angry for what I'd done, sad at how awful I most likely looked, then happy I was ok.

"Why did you-"He began but stopped him.  
"Shhhh. I'm so sorry Edward. I just… needed to get away…and I…I didn't want you to find out that…" I couldn't continue. I looked down and my thumbs suddenly became interesting. He gently lifted my face to meet his gaze. I couldn't resist the warm color that they were, even if blue eyes were my thing.

"That you love me?" he said, smiling the smallest bit. I hesitated at first, then nodded in defeat.  
"You silly girl. Why didn't you want me to know that?" he said  
"Because… you still love Bella. I could always tell you were never really over it. And I didn't want to be that girl who was in love with someone that didn't love them back again. It hurts too much."  
"You know, I can say the same for you. I know you still love Carson, somewhere in that heart of yours." He said pointing a long white finger at my chest. He had me there.  
"I may still love Bella in my dead heart, but-"He looked into my eyes and leaned in so our faces were merely inches apart.  
"But there's more than enough room for you. I love you Reagan." He whispered. He said my name like it was his favorite song, and my heart skipped. He pulled back when he heard it and I gasped lightly from the pain.

"No, I'm ok. It's alright." I whispered and moved my face towards his again.  
"Say it again." I said. I saw his mouth lift into a smile and his forehead connected with mine.  
"I love you Reagan Matthews." And with that, the gap between us was closed. His cold lips pressed gently to mine. His snow cold hands found and cradled my fragile face. And I kissed him back gently, smiling against his lips, remembering that he was a lot stronger than I was. Remembering that he almost killed Bella the first time they kissed because she was too eager. He needed to remain in control so he didn't kill me. It was the first time I'd smiled since this month started. We stayed that way for what felt like forever when he finally broke away.

"You look exhausted love."  
"I haven't slept in a day and a half. I've been waiting for you." Without another word, I was under the sheets, the lights were out and Edward was lying next to me. His arms around me as tight as he could manage without hurting me.

"I love you." I whispered. I felt like I couldn't say it enough.  
"I won't let you go." He said back and kissed my neck gently.  
"Before you go to sleep I have a question." He said.

**EPOV**

"Tell me what you're thinking." I said, naturally curious.  
"You already know what I'm thinking mister mind reader." She said with a small laugh.  
"I can only read your mind when you're thinking something. You're good at blocking me out." I said matter-o-factly.

She sighed and turned to face me, and through the darkness I could see the smile playing at the corners of her mouth. I pulled her closer to me.

"You once said that I could tell you anything… well, you can _think_ anything to me. Especially now" I said. We stared into each other's eyes.

_I'm thinking about how stupid I was. I was going to try and die without telling you how I felt. Without telling you goodbye. Without knowing that you loved me too. You may have never found out that I was gone.  
_"I would have found out. I was getting nervous when I hadn't heard from you." She rested her head against my chest, and I just pulled her closer. It felt like I could never get close enough to her. I quickly threw a blanket in between us so she didn't freeze.

"If it wasn't for you Reagan, I would still be depressed." I said.  
"You are all I need right now. All I'll need for forever." I took one of her hands and brought her wrist up to my face, breathing in deeply. She smiled. I looked at her for a few moments, then leaned my face down andkissed her softly again. Her warmth immediately coursed through me and I could feel her heart stutter again. When we broke apart, there was finally light in her eyes. She was finally happy, and so was I. I found love again, and so did she.


	18. My Last Breathe

**Chapter 18**

**RPOV**

**September 1****st**** 8:45am**

I woke up but didn't feel Edward next to me anymore. I sat up in bed and scanned my room. I found him sitting in a chair looking out the glass doors that lead to the balcony. He looked deep in thought.

_Good morning. Enjoying the view?_

He smiled to himself then turned to look at me.

"Now I am." I smiled also, throwing the covers off of me, swinging my legs over the side of the bed and stood up. I didn't know how weak I actually was until I found myself in his arms on the floor.

"Are you alright?" he asked, worry in his eyes as he lifted me up off the floor and onto the bed again.  
"I'm not sure." I slowly tried to stand up again, but my legs wouldn't have it. I collapsed, but Edward was ready and caught me before I could fall more than an inch.

"You're going to have to stay in bed." He said. Of course, the one time I want to go out and do everything in the world instead of staying in bed, I have to stay in it.

"But I don't want to."  
"I'll stay with you. Don't worry." He said, his fingers gliding against my cheek.  
"It's not that… I came here because it was the one place I'd always wanted to visit. And now I can't even go outside." I said as I gazed out the back doors. Edward studied my face for a little, and then suddenly I was in his arms again.

"What are you doing?" I asked when he opened the doors.  
"Edward, you can't go out here. You'll be seen." I said nervously.  
"I don't care." He walked me onto the balcony and set me down gently, keeping a firm grip on me. I hadn't realized what a good view of Sydney I had from here. The harbor, the opera house, it was all so beautiful. I smiled and turned to face him. His face sparkled in the sun, and I couldn't believe I ever wanted to stay away from him. I felt ashamed that I'd run from him.

"You need to stop thinking about that Reagan. I forgive you, I understand." He said gently, running one of his hands through my hair then pulling me to his body. The cold felt lovely in contrast to the hot Australia sun.

"I can still be sorry for putting you through the hassle of trying to find me, and the betrayal I showed you by leaving."  
"No you don't. Right now, you just need to relax. Enjoy the view. I'm here now, and I'm never leaving you." I decided not to argue with him. It was a useless fight. My legs couldn't support me anymore. My knees gave out a little, and it caught Edward's attention. He quickly swept me up and put me back on the bed.

"We need you to eat something. Maybe that will help." And with that he picked up the phone and dialed room service. An hour later, I had barely eaten anything he'd ordered me. It's not that I didn't want to eat. Far from that, I was dying to eat. I just couldn't. My stomach wouldn't hold it down. I ended up throwing up the piece of bread I ate.

"I'm sorry Edward." I said after he laid me back in bed.  
"I don't know what's going on. I want to eat, but my body must have other plans for me." I tried to smile a little, but I knew he was just as worried as I was. Probably even more. I was going downhill, and fast. And I still hadn't made my decision. To have him change me… or have him go through the pain of losing someone he loved… again. He nearly killed himself when he thought Bella was dead. He would probably do it this time. But I couldn't let him do that to his family. They needed him.

Life would most likely be better for me as a vampire. I wouldn't be sick anymore. I wouldn't have to be near my family, because I'd have a new one. I didn't have to be a 'normal' vampire and kill people. And I could be with Edward. I could still see Abby. She would probably think it was kick ass to have a vampire friend. But I couldn't actually tell her that, or else she'd eventually have to be one, or die. The only downfall about being one would be not seeing my nieces and nephew grow up. I could always watch them from afar, but it would never be the same.

Keeping this to myself was really hard. Edward rarely left my side so it was hard to think without concentrating really hard on trying to block him out.

**September 2****nd**** 1:30am**

I was awakened by my heart speeding up so erratically that I couldn't even breathe. Normally when I was waking up during an attack, I would shoot up straight in bed, but this time, I couldn't even move.

"Reagan? Reagan, look at me. Focus on me sweetheart." Edward's voice was just barely a comforting sound over the pain that surged through my chest. I vaguely saw him hovering over me, unsure of what to do.

"I… can't… move…" I somehow managed to say. One of his hands slid under my neck and cradled it, while the other wrapped around my waist so I could be upright. The pain subsided a bit.

"Come on love, focus on me." He said again. My eyes locked onto his and he began to take deep breaths. I tried to mimic him, but it hurt too much to try. My heart then slowed down dramatically to point that Edward's face shifted from composed to panic stricken. It was giving out. This was it. The moment that I'd wanted to come for the past week. I was about to die. I had what I wanted. Edward loved me, I could go in peace. But I just got him. I didn't want to give him up. I had to make my decision.

"Edward." I breathed out.  
"Yes?" he said trying to hold me as upright as possible. He looked terrified.  
"Do it." I said. He looked confused for a brief second, then even more terrified, then determined.  
"It's the only way." I said then yelled in pain. Too many words. He pulled me closer to him.  
"I know. I said I wouldn't let you go." He placed a gentle kiss on my lips, and then shifted my head so my neck was exposed. My heart slowed more. I felt his cool breath on my neck. I was losing consciousness now. The pain in my chest swelled again.

"I love you, and I'm sorry for this." He whispered into my neck.

And then his teeth penetrated my skin. I screamed once, and all the energy I had left went into it. It was at that moment that my heart stopped. And the world went dead.


	19. Just Died In Your Arms Tonight

**Chapter 19**

I woke up and the light hurt my eyes. I sat up in my bed and say Edward looking down at the bed.

"Edward! It worked! You did it!" I said happily. He didn't respond.

"Edward?" I questioned. I still didn't get a response. It was then I noticed that he didn't look happy. He looked down right miserable. I reached out to touch his face, but to my extreme surprise my hand went right through his face. I gasped and pulled my hand back quickly. I practically leaped out of the bed and noticed that I could stand. When I looked back at the bed, I screamed.

_I was still there_.

That was what Edward was still looking at… me.

No… I couldn't be… dead… he bit me. I felt it, and Christ it hurt. It had to have worked.

He wouldn't look like that if I was alive though.

"No no no no." I said to myself and walked over to Edward again.

"Edward. Edward, come on. I'm right here! Look at me! Please!" I tried to put my hands on him again and they went right through his shoulders.

"Reagan?" I jumped at my name. It wasn't Edward's voice. I turned around and saw… my grandfather. My dad's dad. The one I never met.

"Gra…Grandpa?" I said warily.

"Hi sweetheart. Oh you're just as beautiful as I expected you to be." He took a step towards me, but I took a step back.

"If you're here… does that mean I'm…?"

"Sadly dear, yes." I closed my eyes and covered my face.

"No, God please no."

"Reagan." I looked up to find my other three grandparents standing in front of me now.

"Pop-pop? " My mother's father nodded at me.

"Hey squirt." I couldn't help myself. I ran over to him and hugged him. I was four when he died. I barely recall spending anytime with him.

"Grammie?" My mother's mom smiled at me. It had only been a few years since she past, but due to a family feud, the last few years of her life I never saw her.

"Grandmom?" My dad's mom also smiled at me. She was the only one I had for a long time. She was the best. I smiled and hugged her as well. They all looked young and healthy. So unlike when I'd known them.

"Oh my God…. I really am dead." I took a step back from them and I glanced over at Edward.

"I'm so sorry love… You tried."

"Reagan, there is a reason we are here." Grandpa said. I wasn't really paying attention.

I had walked back over to Edward and sat across from him on the bed. He was staring at my lifeless body. I looked at it too. There were bite marks on my neck, wrists and ankles. He really had tried to make this work. I felt my eyes well up. I failed him again.

"Sweetheart, we're here to help you." Grammie said. I looked over at them, dressed all in white.

"What do you mean?"

"He sent us down here to talk to you." Pop-pop said

"And by 'He' you mean…?"

"Yes." He said.

"Why does God want you to help me? It was clearly my time to go I guess."

"We don't think it is." Grandmom said. I looked at her quizzically.

"We told Him it wasn't your time just yet. And he agreed." Grammie said.

"We said we'd rather see you as part of the undead, than up here much earlier then you should be with us." Grandpa said.

"And… God agreed to that?" I said skeptically.

"Yes." They all said in unison.

"Something tells me that God would rather the world NOT be inhabited by the living dead." I said sarcastically and looked longingly back at Edward.

"Well, in some ways you're right darling. But in your case, He believes you should live. You haven't been able to live the life you want thanks do our dimwitted children." Grandpa said.

"Ok well then, why am I still dead? I can't let him sit like this any longer. He'll follow after me."

"Well we did want to say hello to you. It's been a long time." Pop-pop said. I had to smile at that, and I got up to hug him again. I gave them all hugs and kisses especially my grandpa. This would be the only time I'd meet him.

"We'll be keeping watch over you dear." Said my Grammie.

"I'm sorry to say this, but it's going to hurt when you go back to your body. That venom is nasty stuff." Said my Grandpa.

I smiled a little and in a flash of bright light and a small chorus of goodbyes, they were gone. I walked back over to the bed. I reached out and touched my own hand and with a jolt I was pulled back into my body.


	20. Suddenly I See

**Chapter 20**

My eyes shot open and I gasped for air. I saw a flash out of the corner of my eye and Edward was by my side. The next thing I felt was pain, more unbearable than the one that had been in my chest minutes, maybe even hours before. This pain wracked my whole entire body, and I couldn't help but scream. I felt like I was on fire.

"Reagan!" Came Edward's voice sounded slightly excited, but more upset that I was now in immense pain. I tried to bite my tongue or something to hold back all the screaming I wanted to do right now, and try not to wake up the entire hotel.

"Edward." Oh, shit. Talking equals pain.  
"It's alright. I'm here." He said taking my hand. The cold was a slight relief. Very slight.  
"It hurts…"  
"I know love. I'm sorry. It's going to feel like forever, but it will stop soon. I promise." A surge of fire ran down my legs, and again it took everything I had not to scream. So I bit my lip this time. Hard. Yet I didn't bleed like I normally would.

"I would say make it stop, but I asked for this." I said quickly as another round of fiery hell passed through my body. My heart was once again racing at a ridiculous speed.

"Yes, you may have wanted me to do this, but it was because you wanted to live. You'll be ok I promise." He said. I squeezed his hand as hard as I could as the fire spread and increased.

Somehow Edward moved me from that hotel. I didn't know where he took me; all I knew was that he said it was ok to scream if I wanted to. I tried not to, I wasn't a wimp. I have a high pain tolerance, but this was awful. I wouldn't ever wish this on my worst enemy. I thrashed and screamed, and all Edward could do was hold my hand. Every now and then when I was quiet, he would sing to me, trying his hardest to soothe my pain. And there was always a constant stream of "I'm sorry's" or "I love you's", followed by a kiss either on my hand or forehead.

I knew he had to feel awful about putting me through this. He would never hurt me yet, here he had by biting me. It killed him to see me in the awful state the myocarditis had left me in, but he knew what I was going through right now. He'd been through it himself, and he knew the exact pain that was coursing through my veins right now.

I lost all sense of time and I didn't know where I was. I only felt pain…agony. And I all I saw was him. Edward was the shining light through this horrible ordeal. And I loved him even more for that. I don't recall when everything started to recede… but I did remember the exact moment that my heart sped up for the last time, and then stopped. When I opened my eyes, the world around me changed into the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.


	21. A New Life

5 years later…

Being a vampire is pretty amazing. What's even more amazing is that two years ago, I stopped my newborn phase. God it was not too pleasant. I had my share of mess ups. I killed three people that first year. Human blood was a lot more appeasing to drink. Not that animal blood was disgusting; it just isn't as good as what we are meant to have. Edward helped me through my mess ups. I always felt horrible after it happened. When Edward could do no more to console me, he would send me to Carlisle, which was always good. Carlisle never got angry. He understood, and he always managed to make the situation better. I wish I knew how he did it.

Emmett and Alice faked my death for my other family's sake so there was no need to go back to my home. We changed my name. Well just my last anyway. I'm no longer Reagan Matthews. I'm Reagan Fox, an orphan whom the good doctor and his wife added to their "collection" of children. At least that's what the neighbors like to say. We moved to Alaska then, a few weeks later. It's incredibly beautiful here. Carlisle says this is going to be our permanent home. We aren't going to move anymore. We live quite close to the Cullen's other vegetarian friends. They are so nice, but there's something about Tanya that makes me uneasy. She likes to be around Edward. I may be beautiful now, but I am still nothing compared to Rosalie and Tanya.

I'm almost done college, which is kind of weird for me. I do the high school thing in the day, and then at night I do college, either a night class or an online class. I started school the beginning of my third year as a vampire. I was finally used to the animal blood thing, and I was able to control myself around humans without having to leave the room after ten minutes. I gained junior status at college after my first semester of sophomore year. The extra thinking space I acquired when I was changed really was amazing. I loved being smart. Plus I never slept, so I could do so much more with my time, and took more classes than anyone else.

Edward is very proud of me. Though I killed those three people my first year, I adapted very well to the lifestyle they chose. He bought me a car after my first year. A black Crossfire. I told him not to do it, but like most men, he doesn't listen. Then again it was an amazing car, so I let it go. The rest of the family was just as hospitable.

Carlisle was an amazing father figure. I go to him for everything. I'm the only one to call him 'dad' on a regular basis. The same goes for Esme. She's just adorable. She's everything I wanted my own mother to be and more. Of course Edward and I have been together since the night he found me in Australia. I couldn't be happier.

Alice is the best sister. She's my girl talk buddy, and she's been helping me learn to dress better because apparently I need help. I just laugh and let her have her way, and I hate to admit it, but I love it. I used to hate shopping and fashion. Rosalie surprisingly is just like Alice. It never felt like she liked me before. I don't know what changed her but she loves me now.

Emmett and I are the pranksters of the family. If there's mischief being made around the house or during a hunt, more than likely it comes back to the two of us. Most of the time we goofed around in the house. The only time I ever saw Carlisle angry was when we messed up a hunt, and we agreed to never do it again. He's so much better than Christian.

And finally there was Jasper. He's my best friend. Even though I ran to Edward or Carlisle when I accidently killed someone, Jasper was the one to calm me down for obvious reasons. He would stay by my side when I would want to be away from everyone else and we would talk. He would tell me about his life before meeting Alice, and I would tell him whatever memories I still had of my human life. He got me more than any of them.

This family was far more superior then my human one. They took care of me. They loved me. I finally had a loving family and boyfriend who would give me the world at the drop of a hat, and who I would do the same for.

Edward and I came back from a hunt today, our eyes back to the golden color of satiation. The family was all gathered around the TV. Alice and Jasper sitting on the floor, Jasper's back against the couch, Alice snuggled against him. Emmett was sitting on the loveseat, Rosalie on his lap as they tickled and play fought with each other. Carlisle and Esme sat together on one side of the couch, his arms draped over her shoulders. I sat down next to them, and Edward situated himself so his head was in my lap and his legs hung over the arm of the couch. I started absent mindedly playing with his hair.

"How was your hunt today?" Carlisle asked.

"It was good Dad." I said, smiling over at him.

"Good? Darling you killed your first bear. I'd say that calls for a least a 'great' or 'amazing'." Edward said, looking up at me.

"Whoa really!? Way to go squirt!" Emmett called out.

"Yeah, way to go sis." Said Rose.

"It's not that big of a deal." I said trying to be modest. If I could still blush, I would be bright red right now.

"Of course it is!" Carlisle said happily, giving me a big smile.

"Well done sweetheart." Said Esme.

"I could have told you all that was going to happen." Alice added in, and everyone giggled to themselves.

"I can see why you like them so much Emmett." I said.  
"Yeah man, they are the best things to hunt. They fight back." It went silent again then, as we, a family finally with all its pieces watched TV.

Later that night as the sky grew too a shade of purple, Edward and I were outside wondering around, just enjoying each other's company. I glanced over at him and noticed he was in deep thought.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked out loud, though he already knew I'd ask it.  
"Us." He said simply. He looked over at me and smiled, and I couldn't help but smile back. I looked up to the night sky, watching the stars twinkle, as a snowflake gently landed on my face. Soon another and another fell, and before I knew it, all you could see was the falling snow, and hear it gently touch the ground.

"It's beautiful." I said.  
"Yes." I heard him say. I continued to look around, watching the snow turn the earth white, and I was so wrapped up in the snow, that I didn't hear Edward move next to me. I soon realized I was alone, and looked around for Edward.

"Love?" No answer.

"Edward?" Still no answer. I began walking, scouring the area with my new found sight. Listening with my new ears, but I heard and saw noting.

"Edward Anthony Mas-"

"I'm over here darling!" came his voice from my left. I sprinted towards it, my footsteps barely making a sound. I stopped when I saw him, surrounded by a sea of flowers. The snow in front of him was distorted.

"Edward darling, why did you run off like that?" I asked, not angry, just annoyed.

"Well I needed to make a few last minute arrangements." He said pulling something out of his pocket. I was still confused.

"Look down love." So I did. Looking down into the distorted snow, I saw writing.

'_will you marry me?'_

I gasped. My head shot up and there he was, down on one knee, the small box that had to be what he pulled out of his pocket now opened showing the beautiful diamond ring.

"Edward… it's… it's beautiful." Was all I managed to breathe out.

"Well?" he asked. I looked up at him confused.

'Will you?' he asked, still not moving from the kneeling position.

"Oh my goodness! Yes! Yes of course!" I shouted. I ran over, and threw my arms around him, toppling us into the snow. I was so stupid, and I laughed out loud at my lapse in sense. He was laughing now too. I looked down a him and kissed him quickly.

"You didn't have to ask Edward. You should have known I would have said yes." He laughed again and sat us up.

"I just wanted to be absolutely positive."

"Are you sure you want to marry someone so ditzy?"

"I wouldn't want you any other way. Besides you're not ditzy. You were just caught off guard." He said moving a piece of my hair out of my face.

"How… how did you do all-"

"Alice. She told me it was going to snow. I figured it'd be perfect."

"Believe me. It is." I said. He took the ring out of the box and lifted my left hand.

"I love you Reagan. Forever." And with that he slipped the ring onto my finger, and leaned in to kiss me.

**-_Fin_**

**A/N  
**Thank you to everyone who read my story! And thank you for all the reviews! Theres a picture of Reagan's ring in my profile.


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